I like things just so. The words I write. The way I organize my home. The desk. The paper crane mobile.
I worked hours yesterday and hours this morning at just so. Cleaning, tweaking, decorating. Relocating the popcorn maker. Again.
Except when I loathe it.
Sometimes I get tired. Sometimes my energy is strewn about the apartment and no longer within me. Gus can tell. Some might scoff at the notion of a reproachful cat, but just look at those eyes.
Since I can’t stand disappointing the cat any longer, I put just so on hold. Our family isn’t going to walk through the door and say, “What a perfectly placed bowl! My, my, I don’t see a speck of dust on that counter!”
I vacuum the far corner of the bedroom. I push my writing chair back in place. I pour a cup of tea and set a thin square of chocolate in a small bowl. A flock of starlings soars past the window. The clouds and the sun reflect off the surface of the tea.
We sit together and I open my computer. I don’t write the blog entries I’ve been crafting in my mind. I write something short and simple. It’s just enough time for my energy to come meandering back from the far reaches of a small apartment. Just enough time to set my heart at ease.
Gus is appeased. Now we both can get back to more pressing matters.